BigShinyThing

1. As iPod sales start to slow down, we’re betting on a fierce brand-extension war between Apple and the other online music brands. Competitors have already started to emerge — see MTV’s tie up with Microsoft, Urge.
2. In the same sector, we tip Napster to learn from Google and Yahoo’s mapping successes, and to offer a programming interface (API) for subscribers, so people can build their own software systems using Napster content — expect customised jukeboxes, recommendation systems and music-based games to flourish online. The benefit to Napster? Kudos to the brand which accrue from others’ innovations, a wider audience, and increased advertising opportunities.
3. We’re waiting for a Friday night TV show which features real-time ’stupid shit’, news and interviews contributed live via 3G mobiles by amateur viewer/reporters out and about around the UK and worldwide — the trash culture flipside of OhMyNews. Expect flash celebrity for a few contributors to follow, and a big spike in phone sales.
4. Still on TV, we expect at least one channel to broadcast experimental blocks of ‘ad-free’ prime time programming to test the waters of post-interruptive-advertising television — probably initially sponsored by a major car brand.
5. Flyposting will be banned in London as Ken sides with the Government on a ‘respect‘ agenda.
6. Sophisticated services offered via Skype will be the surprise eCommerce success story of the year, with third-party developers exploiting the ubiquitous telephony provider’s APIs to provide simple, effective voice access to information, retail and search services in exactly the way that screen-based systems thus far haven’t, for the mobile multitudes.
7. Namecheck BST when territorial disputes over mining rights in polar regions recently exposed by global warning become a major news story, and a source of growing international tension.
8. And a big ‘we told you so’ if Interpol reveals that an unlikely counterfeiting alliance of criminals and ‘just because we could’ hackers has adopted open source development methodologies to make undetectable fakes of a major currency, which subsequently has to be completely withdrawn from circulation, redesigned and reissued.
9. Long odds but not impossible: Sony’s launch of non-Sony-branded hardware or media, in an attempt at a fresh start after the horrors of 2005.
10. We will be saddened but not surprised if a PC virus takes out one of the emergency services for at least a day.
11. 3G. Finally. Yes we’re surprised too.

Dear Napster. I love you. I really do. Since you came into my life it’s like music has been playing constantly. A new soundtrack to my life. That fits my mood. Not for me the solo pleasures of the iPod. Oh no. I need my own in-home disco. Each day brings a new playlist into my life. No Madonna or Husker Du but hey, you can’t have everything.

So why why why is your advertising so horrible? You have one of the original anarchic, iconic internet identities. Your evil little imp logo is an emblem of how the internet has changed the world. But since you went legit it’s all gone horribly wrong.

I love you despite your laddish demeanour. Like the boyfriend who transmogrifies into an embarrassing beer monster when he’s down the pub with his mates. But if you want our relationship to last you have to stop. You’re older now. Wiser. Stop demeaning yourself and your talent with this pathetic attempt to join the club of Lynx and Pot Noodle — it won’t work (not least because you’ve missed the irony of those brands).

Get yourself a decent advertising agency. One that tells you that you don’t need to advertise in this way. That it’s beneath you. That your brand is all you need. And they will come.

Love and kisses,

BST